Miss You When I'm Dreaming
by xoxoKatexoxo
Summary: Lyrics and Title by Westlife. Hermione is moving on with her life...or so she thought.


Miss You When I'm Dreaming

Hermione looked up as Kingsley asked her whether she was alright, trying not to show any emotion. The past few months had been hard for Hermione but she was slowly getting over it. It had happened, it was over.

"Yes, sir, I am fine!" she said, her throat closing, almost as if it knew she was lying. She wasn't fine. She wanted to scream but she knew she couldn't. She was Hermione Granger. Cool, calm and collected Granger. She couldn't scream. It wouldn't be right. She helped Kingsley go over his speech for the upcoming ball and helped him with some of the paperwork lying around. When Kingsley had been elected as the Minister for Magic, the British wizarding world had been ecstatic. Finally someone who knew what they were doing. He had asked Hermione to be his second in command. He could trust her, she could do the job if needs be. She hoped that that day would never come but she would take it if it came to her.

For the rest of the day Hermione stayed in her office, looking over what people in the Ministry had done that week, and what needed to be done. She took her job seriously and she had been teased about it often. Hermione, the forty something year old in a twenty five year olds body. She sighed as she heard someone knock on the door but she couldn't turn them away so she allowed for them to enter. Harry came into the office and sat down in the chair opposite her desk.

"What do you want?" Hermione asked, her head still looking down at a piece of parchment.

"Look Hermione-" Harry started off but Hermione interrupted him

"No!" she said sharply, looking up and into Harry's emerald eyes and she felt years of emotions coming back to her. The happiness of having friends in Hogwarts. The night she was made Prefect. The night she had…she couldn't even think about that now. She stared at him for ten seconds more before putting her head down and reading of the piece of parchment again. She had read the same line ten times and she was sure if someone asked her what she was working on, she wouldn't be able to answer. As soon as the door clicked closed Hermione looked up at the clock. She only had another two hours here and then she had an appointment.

_Today I didn't think of you  
Today was alright  
I had a lot of things to do  
I was moving on with my life  
_

Hermione turned the key in the front door to the flat and looked around. The furniture was all hers and she wanted to dispose of all of it. The doctors had said that they had needed to run a test and when they were finished Hermione had come home to watch some TV and eat some chocolate. That had become her routine lately. She would stay up late, drinking hot chocolate and then eating a bar of it. She was starting to put on weight as the belt on her trousers was getting slacker, and soon they wouldn't be able to fit. She went into her kitchen and picked up a mug from the cupboard straight in front of her. She poured water into the kettle and put it on the stove before going into the cupboard and fetching the jar of hot chocolate. While the kettle boiled, Hermione went into the top cupboard to the left and tried to reach for the chocolate bar that was there. There was a note on it, a post it, saying 'Do Not Eat This, You Don't Need Too' and this almost made her cry. The writing on the post it was so familiar and so elegant, it definitely didn't belong to Hermione. She pulled the post it note off and threw it in the bin and, almost animal like, she ripped it with her teeth and bit into the chocolate. It tasted like heaven and Hermione closed her eyes. The kettle, however, started to whistle and Hermione poured the water onto the mixture in the bottom and stirred, the smell of hot chocolate staying in her kitchen.

She returned to the living room and chose a DVD from the collection in the cupboard. She pulled out 'A Walk To Remember' and closed her eyes again. This was her favourite film of all time, and even though it was sad, Hermione loved it. She knew the lines before it happened, she sighed whenever the actor playing Landon was on screen, she felt pain when it was the end and she cried. Every time she watched it, she cried. She looked up to her ceiling, like she did every night and spoke, as if speaking to God.

"Why?"

_  
But now I need some answers, some answers  
I'm tired and I'm getting weak  
Some answers, some answers  
_

**"Our love is like the wind. I can't see it, but I can feel it!"**

Hermione, eyes red and puffy from crying, pressed stop on the DVD remote and turned the TV off. She was surrounded by mounds of white used tissues where she had sobbed into them, not wanting to be heard by anyone. She looked at the clock and sighed. It said it was quarter to midnight. Where had the time gone? She got up off the sofa and walked up the stairs and into the bedroom. She would tidy the mess up tomorrow and she would regain her composure soon. As she got into the bed, she felt dizziness and started to feel tired, so she pulled up the duvet and put her head onto her pillow, just before sleep over took her.

She was wandering through a meadow, a golden dress hugging her curves and she felt like a goddess. Then he was there. He was beaming at her, no shirt, and the sun beating down on his back. Running to him, she knew she needed to be in his arms. Then they were together, he was bending down to kiss her….

Hermione awoke with a start, her breathing irregular, her eyes wet. She turned over and started to cry into the pillow.

_  
I only miss you when I'm dreaming  
That's why I don't wanna close my eyes  
Tell me why you only hurt me when I'm sleeping  
The only time I can't put up a fight  
Is when I'm dreaming  
_

She couldn't go to sleep. She tried to stay awake by reading a book but then she found it impossible to read so she had put it in the cupboard away from her. She tidied the bedroom and cleaned under the bed. She picked up all the tissues from the sofa and washed the counter tops in the kitchen. She cleaned the laminate flooring throughout the house. She couldn't and wouldn't go back to sleep in case she dreamt the same thing again. Looking at the clock for the fourth time, she saw that it was the same time as it had been the first time she looked. Sighing, she collapsed onto the sofa and curled up, a mug of steaming coffee on the table in front of her and Hogwarts: A History, open on her lap. Her favourite book in the entire world would always make her happy. This, however was the more updated of the book, mentioning Dumbledore, Harry and his friends. She hated how she was classed as Harry Potter's friend. She wasn't Hermione Granger, Vice Minister for Magic. She was Hermione Granger, Vice Minister for Magic, Harry Potter's friend.

She skimmed over the book and was surprised to see a few photos in there. There was one of the year group that had been taken at graduation and Hermione could see Harry in the centre, Dumbledore's smile huge. Harry was the 'golden boy' of Hogwarts and Hermione knew it. No matter what any student did, Dumbledore always favoured Harry. She wasn't bitter to the old man, but she hated the fact that she had always got full marks in her exams, whereas Harry had barely scraped his marks and he got a smile and a pat on the back from Dumbledore. What had she received? Nothing.

_  
Another hour passes by  
It's gonna be a long night ahead  
Coz I feel you creeping up inside my mind  
Every time I look at my bed  
_

An hour later, she reached across and put her book down next to her now cold cup of coffee. Her hair was a mess and she was starting to feel sick again. Chocolate was doing that to her now. Whenever she had lots of it, she started to throw it back up again. It was like that with a lot of foods and it had all started three months ago. The people at work had had a bug going round the office, people throwing up everywhere and Hermione had caught it. As if she didn't have enough on her plate, she had to get the flu as well. She had a shower, even though it was almost two in the morning, and she got changed. She wasn't even going to attempt to go to sleep. There was only one place she could go when she wasn't asleep. It had become 'her place' recently and it comforted her so much when she was there.

_  
But now I need some answers, some answers  
I'm tired and I'm weak  
Some answers, some answers_

I only miss you when I'm dreaming  
That's why I don't wanna close my eyes  
Tell me why you only hurt me when I'm sleeping  
The only time I can't put up a fight

_dreaming  
_

As Hermione drove through the crowded streets of London, her heart beat was rapid, almost as if she was running. She had received a message from the doctors at St Mungos, while she had been watching the film and so she hadn't listened to it. She hadn't even known it was there. The results had been positive and that was when the tears started to flow. Why was God punishing her? Hadn't she been punished enough? She found the driveway and pulled into it, her VW Beetle, crunching on the gravel that led to the place. She pulled the Beetle up to the end of the drive way and got out, breathing the smell of clean cut grass and the mixture of the flowers that were scattered around. Her favourite place in the whole world was the place she could find sanctuary.

_  
The only time I can't live without you _

_dreaming  
I can't let you go  
Oh no  
_

"Hello" she spoke to no-one but looked to her feet. If she looked up, she knew that if anyone saw her, they would see her face. "Its me again. I miss you so much! I don't know what to do. I got some results today and they are positive. Its almost as if I am being punished for something I could not control. You were wrong. I cant do this on my own!" she said before falling to her knees and crying. She let the tears fall from her eyes and she wanted to scream but knew there would be no point. She wiped the tears from her eyes and left her sanctuary to go back to her car.

She didn't know how she managed to get home in one piece as she had cried the entire way home. She couldn't even remember how she had managed to get herself into bed. The only thing she could remember was the answer phone message that had been on her phone. Positive. They had to be wrong. It was not possible.

Hermione Granger sat, her arms cradling her stomach and tried not to think about what the papers were going to say when they found out. She could just imagine the headline.

**"Deputy Minister for Magic, Hermione Granger, pregnant with the late Draco Malfoy's baby!"**

Hermione rolled over and started to cry. She was going to have a baby without him here, helping her through it. She would never manage. She remembered coming to the front door, her hands covered in flour. She had been making a cake for his birthday, and there was Harry and Ron standing there, ashen looks on their face. They told her how Malfoy had disappeared after he had been struck by a curse that they were sure had killed him. She remembered collapsing to the floor in tears. She remembered everything and she had always gone to 'their place' where she knew that he had been there. She listened to the sounds of London and knew that she had to get away from this place.

_  
I only miss you when I'm dreaming  
That's why I don't wanna close my eyes  
Tell me why you only hurt me when I'm sleeping  
The only time I can't control my mind, oh  
And the only time I can't put up a fight  
I miss you when I'm dreaming_

Only a few miles away, at that sanctuary where Hermione had just been, a boy, no older than twenty five looked up at the man who had beaten him for twenty five years, with determination in his eyes. Three months of torture, three months of no food or water and three months without his fiancé.

"Boy!" the man shouted at him before hitting him across the face. The boy looked up again, and spat out the blood that was on the side of his mouth.

"My name is Draco!"

* * *

"Our...feel it" Quote from A Walk To Remember

Please please please review. People want to know whether I am doing a sequel and I dont know. If people tell me yey or nay then it will help me make a decision. Thank you. x


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